I don't have too much to report. I did go to Hawaii. I did have a blast. But that's not really on my mind. Would you like to know what's on my mind? I knew it.
I've been trying to shuffle my credits together with the intention of finishing my associate's degree and transferring to a school where I can finish my bachelor's. I figure that my bachelor's degree will make me infinitely more marketable. Sure, it's nice to be on salary and all, but I think I'm frozen in place until I have a piece of paper that states that I'm worth something. That, in and of itself, is offensive. But I digress.
I finally got my act together and sent in my transcript request form to University of Alaska Anchorage. I used to go there. Really. They originally sent it back with a nice letter that informed me I had outstanding parking tickets. The ticket was dated when I was out of town. Visiting Shelby in Michigan. That can mean only one thing. That my friend Link went and parked my car illegally. Good going, Link. Anyhow. I digress again. So I finally got my ass in gear and PAID the parking ticket. Then I sent my request back in. This is where the story gets really interesting:
I went to admissions to ask if they had received my transcript. They said no. Then I asked how long it would take to evaluate it once they received it. The woman looked at her computer screen for a moment and then said,"It doesn't look like you have a major declared. I'm afraid they won't evaluate it at all." My hatred for the establishment at that moment could have destroyed small countries. I looked her straight in the face and said, "Give me a sheet with the major codes. I'll just pick something." I mean, really, does it MATTER if I'm declared as a farm management major? Or a fire-fighter? Or a social worker? It doesn't. But then she uttered words that crushed my McGuyver-esque problem-solving glow, "They evaluate your transcript on the basis of your major." They... Do... What? I couldn't believe it. The man had thrown yet another hoop in front of me. What to do, what to do?
I did what any normal college student would do in the face of adversity. I walked away.
Fast forward a week. My transcript finally came and I happily trotted into the counseling office to talk to one of the worthless foot-soldiers of the department. I don't think they're really people. I think they're idiot savants with name tags that say "Counselor." Never once have those people really helped me. I'm not sure what their role is supposed to be, but I don't think it applies to me. Because I don't want to be a social worker. Or a fire-fighter.
Anyhow.
After waiting for a half an hour, I got to speak to one of these counselorial gods. After she talked at me for a half an hour, we decided that I would get a "general associates". I'm not sure what that is, but don't it sound fan-cy?
My quest will continue. I will transfer to Michigan State. Or some other four year college. Because I must finish.
And I shall prevail.