[in regard to a power tripping manager who wouldn't let my friend come back and smoke with me in the stock room of the convenience store] "That bitch can suck me sideways! I'm going the fuck back there."
[in regard to a talk another friend had with management regarding his overuse of the phrase "Rock n' roll!"] "I don't understand what their problem is. It's not like I'm saying, "I want to tongue-jack your shitbox."
Why don't people say, "I want to tongue-jack your shitbox." more often? It's a damn shame they don't. Because then I would never stop laughing.
** Edit (1/04/02): I have another thing to add here. It is this:
[in regard to a girl who attends bible college and refuses to even french kiss anyone] "Jesus got dibs on that 'tang."
Now it's really the end.