Hey... You know you want some pork n' beans...

Link was your typical starving college student. It was all very Bohemian, his lifestyle. But as we all know, Bohemian does not mean well-fed. Somehow, (and I believe his father had a hand in this) he came across a singular wealth of pork n' beans. About a case. The irony of the thing is that Link doesn't really like pork n' beans. The continued irony is that no one he knew really liked them, either. But in varying stages of consciousness, he was forever trying to foist them off on everyone around him. An example goes as follows:

Link: Shawna, I'll trade you three cans of pork n' beans for that box of Hot Pockets.

Shawna: How many times have I told you I don't like pork n' beans?

Link: But Shawna, these are some tasty pork n' beans.

Shawna: Lincoln, I don't want your stupid pork n' beans.

Link: C'mon! I just want a Hot Pocket!

Shawna: Goddammit, Link. I don't want your fucking pork n' beans. Just eat the Hot Pocket.

Link: Thank you, Shawna.

Shawna: You're welcome, Lincoln.

As you can see, the pork n' beans scenario could grow quite tiresome. But I, as the gainfully employed member of our duo, always ended up providing him with food. I never really wanted the pork n' beans. But sometimes I wonder what happened to them when he moved out... Did he just leave them in the garage? Throw them out on the street? Give them to a homeless man? Finally find someone who actually liked pork n' beans? A mystery. Quite a mystery.